The last 3 weeks have been great. Remarkable even. Especially given the 14 radiation therapies I had to my head. I have had a great run of strong days and even jokingly said to Amy that maybe I am cancer free?! Reality set back in this last weekend.
After working three straight long days, Thursday, I stupidly pushed myself into what turned out to be a brutal day of walking and standing. Long story, short: I attended a Building Management Luncheon, followed that by walking all over the Merchandise Mart (our Chicago office location), topped by attending the largest Construction Industry dinner function and networking event. I walked and stood more that day than I have since I was diagnosed with cancer. That next day, in the office again, I knew I would pay for it later and sure enough, Friday night through Sunday, I was totally laid up with my back blown out.
I called my doctors and they said to go to the ER Sunday night when I included the new symptom of neuropathy in my right hand, which may also be a part of the issue. There from 8pm until 3am, an MRI showed no chord compression (good news…) but does show that I have a compression fracture of my L4 vertebra (just below the L3 that I had done the vertibroplasty last year) and that my tumor burden on my spine has advanced.
I have not heard back from my doctors yet on what we need to do with the compression fracture. As far as the general advance of the bone mets, I guess it is not really a huge shocker since I haven’t done any chemo in the last 12 weeks or so, but it is still distressing to hear. The cancer is not taking any time off…
Top all of this off with the fact that I started chemo back again today (Tuesday 4/22) and there ends the 3 week run… I started the Tarceva and am nervous as to what the side effects will be and when they will start. More of the fun of chemo… The main three side effects of this drug are severe acne-like rash, diarrhea, and fatigue. Not looking forward to any of those, especially the first two.
Some highlights of the last three weeks: Greg Kroencke came to visit a second time. Justin and Tracy Kohler and there two boys flew in town and stayed with us. My brother Scott and his family came to visit for his birthday. I walked to our neighborhood park (first time I was able to make it) to watch the kids play.
I have been encouraged by Romans lately, especially this verse…
Romans 8:18 (New International Version)
Future Glory
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
The rest of the chapter is also amazing:
19The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that[i] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
22We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.
More Than Conquerors
28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[j] who[k] have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I don’t have any more to say right now. Just hoping for your prayers to continue for my healing, for my strength to increase, and for the side effects to be minimal with the Tarceva.
Love, In Christ,
Eric
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
New Plans and the Roller Coaster Ride 3/25/08
It has been a bit of a roller coaster ride this week, plus… I found out last Monday night that my genetic markers were NOT a match and therefore I am not a prime candidate for Tarceva. This was a strong hope I was holding out for… That left us with the clinical trial option, which we set up for this Wednesday, 3/26.
In the mean time, in setting up the clinical trial base-line scans, my brain scan came back with some bad/strange news. The scan shows two active tumor lesions but there is confusion as to what exactly is being seen (meaning there may not actually be active lesions). The U of C wants it’s own Radiologist to review it and Dr. Maitland says that this changes the game somewhat… And not necessarily, entirely negatively; The brain is easy to radiate, either with whole brain radiation (broadcast to entire head) or with Gamma Knife radiation (pin points tumors only). So there was not as much concern as I would have guessed.
Next up is my pain story... Dr. Maitland recommended that we go to University of Chicago’s Pain Clinic to explore changing my pain meds/regiment. That appointment went very well. We are changing the game here, too. I switched to Methadone, which to my understanding, does a more effective job of blocking the pain receptors, enabling a much smaller dose of the drug than what I am currently taking of the Oxycodone. We started that regimen last Thursday and I can report (praise, God!!!!) that my pain has been under control for the first time we’ve been in Illinois. I am also excited about reducing my dosing on the Oxycontin IR for break through pain. I am down to only 1-2 doses and can envision the chance to finally kick this pain I have had since coming to Illinois. Yeah!
Dr. Maitland and I met again this past Monday, 3/24, to go over our new plan… More roller coaster… To start, he had two U of C radiologists review my brain scan. They all think putting chemo on hold for a bit longer and moving forward with Whole Brain Radiation is the way to go. Not happy about that, but it really seems to be my only option here. I will definitely lose my hair and there is a 50% chance that that hair loss will be permanent. There will be fatigue for sure. And there are also risks with regard to both short and/or long term loss of cognitive function, short term memory loss, impact on fine motor skills, etc… I am told I am less at risk due to my age (again, most people are in the 60’s when going through this stuff) and that I have a high level of cognitive function already, despite what my wife says…
As far as the chemo plan, we will start that up approximately 1 week after the radiation treatment, which will be 14 straight business days, starting tomorrow (Wednesday 3/26).
So here’s the good news… We are NOT going through with the clinical trial chemo plan, but instead, are going back to try the Tarceva. That was an unexpected possibility. Apparently I did have an one unexplainable genetic code in the tumor and I still matched the profile of young, non-smoker profile, so the Tarceva still may have a good chance of working.
So, despite the brain lesion and whole brain radiation news, I am actually feeling strangely encouraged and upbeat. Maybe I am channeling some of the “Peace that passes all understanding!”
Please pray for me to NOT have any of the side effects (especially not long term) of the whole brain radiation.
Please pray for my faith to continue to grow and strengthen.
Please pray that this radiation will clear my head of all brain tumors, permanently.
Peace and love,
Eric
In the mean time, in setting up the clinical trial base-line scans, my brain scan came back with some bad/strange news. The scan shows two active tumor lesions but there is confusion as to what exactly is being seen (meaning there may not actually be active lesions). The U of C wants it’s own Radiologist to review it and Dr. Maitland says that this changes the game somewhat… And not necessarily, entirely negatively; The brain is easy to radiate, either with whole brain radiation (broadcast to entire head) or with Gamma Knife radiation (pin points tumors only). So there was not as much concern as I would have guessed.
Next up is my pain story... Dr. Maitland recommended that we go to University of Chicago’s Pain Clinic to explore changing my pain meds/regiment. That appointment went very well. We are changing the game here, too. I switched to Methadone, which to my understanding, does a more effective job of blocking the pain receptors, enabling a much smaller dose of the drug than what I am currently taking of the Oxycodone. We started that regimen last Thursday and I can report (praise, God!!!!) that my pain has been under control for the first time we’ve been in Illinois. I am also excited about reducing my dosing on the Oxycontin IR for break through pain. I am down to only 1-2 doses and can envision the chance to finally kick this pain I have had since coming to Illinois. Yeah!
Dr. Maitland and I met again this past Monday, 3/24, to go over our new plan… More roller coaster… To start, he had two U of C radiologists review my brain scan. They all think putting chemo on hold for a bit longer and moving forward with Whole Brain Radiation is the way to go. Not happy about that, but it really seems to be my only option here. I will definitely lose my hair and there is a 50% chance that that hair loss will be permanent. There will be fatigue for sure. And there are also risks with regard to both short and/or long term loss of cognitive function, short term memory loss, impact on fine motor skills, etc… I am told I am less at risk due to my age (again, most people are in the 60’s when going through this stuff) and that I have a high level of cognitive function already, despite what my wife says…
As far as the chemo plan, we will start that up approximately 1 week after the radiation treatment, which will be 14 straight business days, starting tomorrow (Wednesday 3/26).
So here’s the good news… We are NOT going through with the clinical trial chemo plan, but instead, are going back to try the Tarceva. That was an unexpected possibility. Apparently I did have an one unexplainable genetic code in the tumor and I still matched the profile of young, non-smoker profile, so the Tarceva still may have a good chance of working.
So, despite the brain lesion and whole brain radiation news, I am actually feeling strangely encouraged and upbeat. Maybe I am channeling some of the “Peace that passes all understanding!”
Please pray for me to NOT have any of the side effects (especially not long term) of the whole brain radiation.
Please pray for my faith to continue to grow and strengthen.
Please pray that this radiation will clear my head of all brain tumors, permanently.
Peace and love,
Eric
Sunday, March 16, 2008
SXSW Trip 3/16/08
Hello all! Today is Palm Sunday. Hosanna in the highest! I hope you are all had nice services at your churches today. I will try to keep this week a little more thoughtful and prayerful with regard to the amazing plan/mystery that God laid out for us. That, and NCAA March Madness starts Thursday. So there are a lot of reasons for praise this week!!!
The last week was a fun one for Amy and I. We flew out Wednesday night to Austin, TX to see my brother Scott and his wife and two kids, and to spend time at the South by Southwest Music Festival; something I have been wanting to see in person for years. SXSW was everything I hoped it would be. Imagine 1500 bands descending on Austin, TX, from all over the world, all trying to get their break. The only problem is that there is just too much to see. You can’t possibly see everybody, so you have to do your homework and find out where bands are playing and when, all the while leaving space in your schedule to hear new acts you have never heard of to stay in the spirit of discovery the festival promotes. Scott set up this trip and itinerary and we were in great hands… We saw about 4-5 bands per day and Scott and Amy took turns pushing the wheelchair that the American Cancer Society loaned us. The highlights: The Black Keys (I have seen them twice previously – one of my favorite bands) and a band from Norway called “Big Bang”. Big Bang was one of our random finds. They were playing at a place called Maggie Mae’s Taco Express that we stopped at for food. They really rocked and the tacos were fantastic. We marveled at the idea of such good talent playing taco joints… Later that night we Googled them and discovered they are the best selling rock act in Norway’s history. How random… Just underscores the cool vibe of the festival.
Here’s the other definite benefit of our trip: The Weather! We had 80 degree days and 65 degree nights and mornings, with the sun shining every minute. Amazing. I wore shorts and a T-shirt the whole time and got lots of sun. Unfortunately, we had to leave and return to reality. Point in fact: Despite the fact it is Mid-March, Chicago still has 30 degree weather… When does spring officially start??? Soon I hope.
We flew back Saturday late afternoon, arriving tired but ready to see the kids. I held up very well and was so glad my brother organized the trip.
As far as what’s next treatment-wise, I am still waiting… We had our follow up appointment with Dr. Maitland of University of Chicago last Wednesday and still have had no word back from the labs as far as my match for the drug Tarceva. He was promised a response tomorrow, Monday 3/17, so I should hear in the next day or two.
In absence of a response, or a negative response, it looks like I will then be a part of a clinical trial, starting chemo therapy as early as Wednesday, 3/19, of this coming week (!). I definitely am not feeling enthused by that, especially since the main purpose of the trial is to see how BIG the dose can be (above the currently FDA-approved doses) without pushing the patients into massive side effects. Unfortunately, there may be some difficult days or weeks as we find what my most “beneficial” dosing will be.
I will need your prayers for strength if we go the clinical trial-route. I am not feeling very brave about it, fearing the side effects… Call me vane, but I also have almost a full head of hair back and don’t really want to lose it again! That is actually not a real concern. But the idea of feeling sick all of the time again is not enticing.
That all said, if it will work, bring it on…
Talk to you all again, soon.
Love and Peace,
Eric
The last week was a fun one for Amy and I. We flew out Wednesday night to Austin, TX to see my brother Scott and his wife and two kids, and to spend time at the South by Southwest Music Festival; something I have been wanting to see in person for years. SXSW was everything I hoped it would be. Imagine 1500 bands descending on Austin, TX, from all over the world, all trying to get their break. The only problem is that there is just too much to see. You can’t possibly see everybody, so you have to do your homework and find out where bands are playing and when, all the while leaving space in your schedule to hear new acts you have never heard of to stay in the spirit of discovery the festival promotes. Scott set up this trip and itinerary and we were in great hands… We saw about 4-5 bands per day and Scott and Amy took turns pushing the wheelchair that the American Cancer Society loaned us. The highlights: The Black Keys (I have seen them twice previously – one of my favorite bands) and a band from Norway called “Big Bang”. Big Bang was one of our random finds. They were playing at a place called Maggie Mae’s Taco Express that we stopped at for food. They really rocked and the tacos were fantastic. We marveled at the idea of such good talent playing taco joints… Later that night we Googled them and discovered they are the best selling rock act in Norway’s history. How random… Just underscores the cool vibe of the festival.
Here’s the other definite benefit of our trip: The Weather! We had 80 degree days and 65 degree nights and mornings, with the sun shining every minute. Amazing. I wore shorts and a T-shirt the whole time and got lots of sun. Unfortunately, we had to leave and return to reality. Point in fact: Despite the fact it is Mid-March, Chicago still has 30 degree weather… When does spring officially start??? Soon I hope.
We flew back Saturday late afternoon, arriving tired but ready to see the kids. I held up very well and was so glad my brother organized the trip.
As far as what’s next treatment-wise, I am still waiting… We had our follow up appointment with Dr. Maitland of University of Chicago last Wednesday and still have had no word back from the labs as far as my match for the drug Tarceva. He was promised a response tomorrow, Monday 3/17, so I should hear in the next day or two.
In absence of a response, or a negative response, it looks like I will then be a part of a clinical trial, starting chemo therapy as early as Wednesday, 3/19, of this coming week (!). I definitely am not feeling enthused by that, especially since the main purpose of the trial is to see how BIG the dose can be (above the currently FDA-approved doses) without pushing the patients into massive side effects. Unfortunately, there may be some difficult days or weeks as we find what my most “beneficial” dosing will be.
I will need your prayers for strength if we go the clinical trial-route. I am not feeling very brave about it, fearing the side effects… Call me vane, but I also have almost a full head of hair back and don’t really want to lose it again! That is actually not a real concern. But the idea of feeling sick all of the time again is not enticing.
That all said, if it will work, bring it on…
Talk to you all again, soon.
Love and Peace,
Eric
Sunday, March 2, 2008
A hint of spring??? 3/2/08
A hint of spring??? Since it is finally March, maybe we can finally say good-bye to single digit temperatures? Is that too much to hope for? We actually had a balmy day today. Sunshine and temps in the 40’s… Whoa...
I had a major setback 3 weeks ago that led to a new record hospital stay for me: 7 days. I had been steadily feeling worse and worse back pain-wise, but I was also getting very sick with a flu-like illness the whole family was sharing that had me coughing like I never have coughed before. My chest ached with each fit that racked my body. On Valentine’s Day night, I was in the bad position of not being able to sit or lay upright (due to my back pain) and not able to lay down do to the coughing and congestion. Amy literally listened to me struggle with life for 20 minutes in bed and forced me to go the emergency room (many of you know how persuasive Amy can be).
Thank God my parents are here (or that we are here…). We called them as they were coming out of the evening’s Drury theatre performance and they came right over to watch the kids. We arrived at the ER around 11pm and I got admitted to the hospital around 3am. Fortunately they got things under control fairly quickly and I was able to lay down and get some sleep. The rest of the week I was in an isolation room with a MRSA Staff infection in my chest and MRI’s done Friday showed the tumors at T4 and T10 were encroaching on my spinal column, with the T10 tumor actually already pressing against my spinal cord. This was another emergency situation, where something called “cord compression” was immanent any day, where I could experience not only pain, but temporary to permanent paralysis. They called in a radiation team on Saturday and Sunday to start treatments for me right away…
So once again, we dodged a major bullet because of an emergency room visit for an seemingly in related thing. I guess the flu was a blessing, because I probably would have toughed out the pain piece a lot longer.
My right hip pain had also flared up and of course with the MRI, they also didn’t like what they saw in my right hip/femur and started radiation there too. I am actually having to walk with a cane right now. This sucks. I hope the radiation helps with this fast. I do not like walking with a cane for many reasons, least of which it is a hassle to carry stuff and walk.
Lastly, because my back pain seemed recurring at the pelvis and sacrum areas, they developed a radiation plan to hit them again as well. I did 10 days at all three areas and finished those this past Friday. Glad to be done of that. I forgot how fatiguing radiation can be. I will experience the fatigue for a few weeks more despite the fact the actual treatment is done as my body sorts out what it was subjected to.
Additionally, they ramped up my pain meds to really high doses (that I am not really comfortable taking, but need to), to deal with the pain. It was essentially a doubling.
So… The week was long and discouraging. Every day I was in the hospital I fell into kind of a deeper malaise. I really think I was becoming clinically depressed. Pessimistic discussions from my local oncologist didn’t help… Fortunately, I was able to convince them to let me out the following Thursday and things are much better.
The following week (last week), I had a follow-up CT Scan and appointment with my University of Chicago oncologist, Dr. Michael Maitland. That went very well. My parents got a chance to meet him and they were equally impressed as I had been. He compared the scan from the one done in January and told us that the cancer in not on a runaway train. That in fact it was stable and showed no change between the two scans. He also has a plan for me for my next steps. We are going to stop my second line chemo treatment of Alimpta, as it doesn’t seem to be doing good or bad. We are going to pursue an oral chemo drug called Tarceva.
From what I know, Tarceva seems like it is largely a “maintenance” drug, one that keeps the cancer at bay while people take it. But in about 10% of the people who take it, it is extremely successful at shrinking tumors. They have determined that there is a specific genetic make up for the people who fit the 10% group and the U of C is testing my DNA this week to see if I fit that population.
THIS IS THE MAJOR PRAYER REQUEST RIGHT NOW!!!!!! That I fit this genetic profile… I should know by the end of this week. If I don’t fit, we may go ahead and try it anyway. Otherwise, we go to a third line chemo treatment plan from one of U of C’s many clinical trials. Dr. Maitland already has his eye on 2-3 that I might fit into well.
Thanks to the many, many cards I have received over the last few weeks. Your thoughtful words and encouragement really lifts me up. Spiritually, I am doing much better as well.
In fact, in worship today, we heard this song which God clearly wanted me to hear… The lyrics are SO appropriate for where I am and how I am feeling.
“My Savior My God” by Aaron Shust
VERSE 1
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
CHORUS
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be
VERSE 2
Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
CHORUS
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be
This is a popular new song on Christian radio right now and is also a nice praise and worship song. I don’t know a lot about the artist, but this song is fantastic.
I will sign off for now but wanted to let you know that I am feeling called to be blogging more frequently than I have been. To not simply wait until there are significant things to write about in my cancer fight, but to but touch more on my thoughts and feelings generally… So since I have been really lame previously on the frequency, you may find you actually need to check the archive to read a blog that may get superseded by a new one.
Peace and Love,
Eric
I had a major setback 3 weeks ago that led to a new record hospital stay for me: 7 days. I had been steadily feeling worse and worse back pain-wise, but I was also getting very sick with a flu-like illness the whole family was sharing that had me coughing like I never have coughed before. My chest ached with each fit that racked my body. On Valentine’s Day night, I was in the bad position of not being able to sit or lay upright (due to my back pain) and not able to lay down do to the coughing and congestion. Amy literally listened to me struggle with life for 20 minutes in bed and forced me to go the emergency room (many of you know how persuasive Amy can be).
Thank God my parents are here (or that we are here…). We called them as they were coming out of the evening’s Drury theatre performance and they came right over to watch the kids. We arrived at the ER around 11pm and I got admitted to the hospital around 3am. Fortunately they got things under control fairly quickly and I was able to lay down and get some sleep. The rest of the week I was in an isolation room with a MRSA Staff infection in my chest and MRI’s done Friday showed the tumors at T4 and T10 were encroaching on my spinal column, with the T10 tumor actually already pressing against my spinal cord. This was another emergency situation, where something called “cord compression” was immanent any day, where I could experience not only pain, but temporary to permanent paralysis. They called in a radiation team on Saturday and Sunday to start treatments for me right away…
So once again, we dodged a major bullet because of an emergency room visit for an seemingly in related thing. I guess the flu was a blessing, because I probably would have toughed out the pain piece a lot longer.
My right hip pain had also flared up and of course with the MRI, they also didn’t like what they saw in my right hip/femur and started radiation there too. I am actually having to walk with a cane right now. This sucks. I hope the radiation helps with this fast. I do not like walking with a cane for many reasons, least of which it is a hassle to carry stuff and walk.
Lastly, because my back pain seemed recurring at the pelvis and sacrum areas, they developed a radiation plan to hit them again as well. I did 10 days at all three areas and finished those this past Friday. Glad to be done of that. I forgot how fatiguing radiation can be. I will experience the fatigue for a few weeks more despite the fact the actual treatment is done as my body sorts out what it was subjected to.
Additionally, they ramped up my pain meds to really high doses (that I am not really comfortable taking, but need to), to deal with the pain. It was essentially a doubling.
So… The week was long and discouraging. Every day I was in the hospital I fell into kind of a deeper malaise. I really think I was becoming clinically depressed. Pessimistic discussions from my local oncologist didn’t help… Fortunately, I was able to convince them to let me out the following Thursday and things are much better.
The following week (last week), I had a follow-up CT Scan and appointment with my University of Chicago oncologist, Dr. Michael Maitland. That went very well. My parents got a chance to meet him and they were equally impressed as I had been. He compared the scan from the one done in January and told us that the cancer in not on a runaway train. That in fact it was stable and showed no change between the two scans. He also has a plan for me for my next steps. We are going to stop my second line chemo treatment of Alimpta, as it doesn’t seem to be doing good or bad. We are going to pursue an oral chemo drug called Tarceva.
From what I know, Tarceva seems like it is largely a “maintenance” drug, one that keeps the cancer at bay while people take it. But in about 10% of the people who take it, it is extremely successful at shrinking tumors. They have determined that there is a specific genetic make up for the people who fit the 10% group and the U of C is testing my DNA this week to see if I fit that population.
THIS IS THE MAJOR PRAYER REQUEST RIGHT NOW!!!!!! That I fit this genetic profile… I should know by the end of this week. If I don’t fit, we may go ahead and try it anyway. Otherwise, we go to a third line chemo treatment plan from one of U of C’s many clinical trials. Dr. Maitland already has his eye on 2-3 that I might fit into well.
Thanks to the many, many cards I have received over the last few weeks. Your thoughtful words and encouragement really lifts me up. Spiritually, I am doing much better as well.
In fact, in worship today, we heard this song which God clearly wanted me to hear… The lyrics are SO appropriate for where I am and how I am feeling.
“My Savior My God” by Aaron Shust
VERSE 1
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
CHORUS
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be
VERSE 2
Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
CHORUS
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be
This is a popular new song on Christian radio right now and is also a nice praise and worship song. I don’t know a lot about the artist, but this song is fantastic.
I will sign off for now but wanted to let you know that I am feeling called to be blogging more frequently than I have been. To not simply wait until there are significant things to write about in my cancer fight, but to but touch more on my thoughts and feelings generally… So since I have been really lame previously on the frequency, you may find you actually need to check the archive to read a blog that may get superseded by a new one.
Peace and Love,
Eric
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Chicago Weather Blues 2/10/08
Chicago’s weather really sucks right now. I am serious. I must have forgotten how bleak winter can be. I hear a lot of locals state facts: “Don't worry, this is just the worst winter in 24 years.” Or tell me: “It’s never like this.” Etc… But none of that is helpful for me. I am really struggling with the temperatures here. And in addition to the snow bunglng up commmutes and the bitter cold, according to the paper this morning, we have had 11 minutes of sunshine prior to today. You read that right: 11 MINUTES... 660 Seconds... Enough of that. Chicago does have greaet springs and summers, so I am holding out for them (when the humidity starts to suck in So. Florida).
This new chemo, Alimta, I am taking also doesn’t allow for me to take Aleve, seemingly the only pain med that has worked for me previously, and over the last few weeks, I have just ached and ached here.
My doctors tell me to just ramp up the narcotic pain meds. This is something I really don’t want to do. I have a fear of becoming dependant on them, but the pain and discomfort are driving me towards this short-term solution.
As I have stated in the past, if it wasn't for the back pain, I could really be managing all of this pretty well, I think. Especially quality of life-wise.
I am going to start pushing my Doctor Team to get proactive in curing this pain (most likely through more radiation treatment). But, I really need to turn the corner on this pain, because it really has negatively affected my quality of life. It is SO hard to have a positive attitude when one feels this way day in and day out. I have faked it pretty good at work, but overall, I am not doing well here. I need your alls’ prayers for my back and hip pain relief. You can also pray for an early spring! Side note: I literally just finished watching “An Inconvenient Truth”, the Al Gore global warming film. Hard to take it seriously when the temperatures are supposed to hit 3 degrees today and a –30 degree wind chill tonight.
We have new contact information… Here’s our family info:
The Plummer’s
2340 River Hills Lane
Bolingbrook, IL 60490
Home Phone: (630) 312-8225
Home e-mail: amyplummer2340@comcast.net
Hard to believe we have been here one month already!!! We really love the house and encourage you all to visit at any time. You all have a place to stay in Chicago if you find yourself here. We have a LOT of spare room.
Final thoughts on where I am at…
I know that God has a plan; A perfect plan. I know that I fit in that plan; perfectly. I just don’t know how or why. Especially right now. In the past, some days it seemed or felt obvious how I was being used or where I fit in. But for weeks now I have not seen or felt where I fit in. This has had me in a valley for a long time now and I can admit that frustration with the pain here has contributed to me willfully “sitting down and pouting” in this valley’s floor.
I just really feel far from God lately, even though I know He is right next to me, holding me, carrying me, and crying with me. And typically, I am OK with gaps in the head to heart understanding. They typically don’t last long with me as I can almost always just push through with faith. I can usually motivate myself to get up and start walking in the valley. It is what we are called to do. It is what we are designed to do. Valley time is the only place we can glorify God with our actions, faith, and belief. We simply can’t glorify Him on the mountain top… Those times are gifts from Him where He raises us up to them. In the valley, choosing to have faith and to start walking is the only place where we can offer this acceptable gift to Him.
I convicted myself for feeling and acting so poorly a few days ago… And I have since gotten back into the Word, and started praying more, for strength of faith and peace. I hope that my recent, weak efforts in this area will be found pleasing to Him. It’s a start, but I still have a ways to go. At least I am off my butt and walking again…
Thanks for your continued prayers! I’ll push through this (especially with your all’s help). I am confident of that.
God bless you,
Eric
This new chemo, Alimta, I am taking also doesn’t allow for me to take Aleve, seemingly the only pain med that has worked for me previously, and over the last few weeks, I have just ached and ached here.
My doctors tell me to just ramp up the narcotic pain meds. This is something I really don’t want to do. I have a fear of becoming dependant on them, but the pain and discomfort are driving me towards this short-term solution.
As I have stated in the past, if it wasn't for the back pain, I could really be managing all of this pretty well, I think. Especially quality of life-wise.
I am going to start pushing my Doctor Team to get proactive in curing this pain (most likely through more radiation treatment). But, I really need to turn the corner on this pain, because it really has negatively affected my quality of life. It is SO hard to have a positive attitude when one feels this way day in and day out. I have faked it pretty good at work, but overall, I am not doing well here. I need your alls’ prayers for my back and hip pain relief. You can also pray for an early spring! Side note: I literally just finished watching “An Inconvenient Truth”, the Al Gore global warming film. Hard to take it seriously when the temperatures are supposed to hit 3 degrees today and a –30 degree wind chill tonight.
We have new contact information… Here’s our family info:
The Plummer’s
2340 River Hills Lane
Bolingbrook, IL 60490
Home Phone: (630) 312-8225
Home e-mail: amyplummer2340@comcast.net
Hard to believe we have been here one month already!!! We really love the house and encourage you all to visit at any time. You all have a place to stay in Chicago if you find yourself here. We have a LOT of spare room.
Final thoughts on where I am at…
I know that God has a plan; A perfect plan. I know that I fit in that plan; perfectly. I just don’t know how or why. Especially right now. In the past, some days it seemed or felt obvious how I was being used or where I fit in. But for weeks now I have not seen or felt where I fit in. This has had me in a valley for a long time now and I can admit that frustration with the pain here has contributed to me willfully “sitting down and pouting” in this valley’s floor.
I just really feel far from God lately, even though I know He is right next to me, holding me, carrying me, and crying with me. And typically, I am OK with gaps in the head to heart understanding. They typically don’t last long with me as I can almost always just push through with faith. I can usually motivate myself to get up and start walking in the valley. It is what we are called to do. It is what we are designed to do. Valley time is the only place we can glorify God with our actions, faith, and belief. We simply can’t glorify Him on the mountain top… Those times are gifts from Him where He raises us up to them. In the valley, choosing to have faith and to start walking is the only place where we can offer this acceptable gift to Him.
I convicted myself for feeling and acting so poorly a few days ago… And I have since gotten back into the Word, and started praying more, for strength of faith and peace. I hope that my recent, weak efforts in this area will be found pleasing to Him. It’s a start, but I still have a ways to go. At least I am off my butt and walking again…
Thanks for your continued prayers! I’ll push through this (especially with your all’s help). I am confident of that.
God bless you,
Eric
Friday, January 18, 2008
Happy New Year 1/18/08
Happy New Year!
It is so hard to believe the holidays have come and gone already. We are now Illinois residents again and all we can say is….. Brrrrrrr! It is very cold here!!!
We have found a Doctor Team that will consist of Dr. Michael Maitland of the University of Chicago (who will manage the big picture) and Dr. Baharmand, a local oncologist from Naperville, IL, for the day to day/week to week execution of the plan.
Christmas was nice. My parents and Amy’s brother Mike were in town to celebrate Christ’s birth with us and we had a nice time together. This was also the first year the girls really got into the whole Santa Clause, gifts thing. They left cookies and a note for Santa and were very excited the next day when they were eaten and found a note back from him!
New Years Eve was also nice. We went to our good friends, the Bonham’s, who had invited all of the rest of our friends for a combo New Year’s Eve party and Good Bye party for us. We already miss everyone terribly…
After that, I flew to Chicago with Chloe, Amanda, and my mom on January 2nd and Amy drove up with Evan and her mom two days later, after supervising the movers’ packing up of our old house. We arrived to 0 deg. temperatures and 4” of snow!
Unfortunately, since I have been in Illinois, I have suffered some serious discomfort in my back and hips that I have attributed to me not being used to the cold; I simply ache like an old man… One day I couldn’t even get out of bed despite popping break thru pain pills like candy… A switch to Aleve, surprisingly enough, took away all the pain and I have not had to take any additional pain pills since. I am doing much better on the discomfort front.
I had also really held out strong hopes to get a break from chemo, but the doctors feel that the bone pain I have experienced here is symptomatic of the disease remaining active and that we need to hit it back again. There is no real choice but to suck it up, pull up the boot straps, and get moving.
So… I do start chemo therapy back up again today (Friday the 18th). I will be taking only one drug this time, a drug called Alimta. My understanding is that it is a well-tolerated therapy and I am hoping the side effects will be less than what I have experienced in the past. The “fun” part is that chemo hits different people different ways and even differently on different days, so I get the weekend to see how it goes. I march on…
Work is going well. There is a LOT to do to clean things up there, but that is exciting, getting to fix things. I just need to balance my effort there, especially how frequently I physically go to the office vs. work from home. I think I will burn out if I don’t.
Please pray for me that the chemo will go well and that I can be productive at work.
It is so hard to believe the holidays have come and gone already. We are now Illinois residents again and all we can say is….. Brrrrrrr! It is very cold here!!!
We have found a Doctor Team that will consist of Dr. Michael Maitland of the University of Chicago (who will manage the big picture) and Dr. Baharmand, a local oncologist from Naperville, IL, for the day to day/week to week execution of the plan.
Christmas was nice. My parents and Amy’s brother Mike were in town to celebrate Christ’s birth with us and we had a nice time together. This was also the first year the girls really got into the whole Santa Clause, gifts thing. They left cookies and a note for Santa and were very excited the next day when they were eaten and found a note back from him!
New Years Eve was also nice. We went to our good friends, the Bonham’s, who had invited all of the rest of our friends for a combo New Year’s Eve party and Good Bye party for us. We already miss everyone terribly…
After that, I flew to Chicago with Chloe, Amanda, and my mom on January 2nd and Amy drove up with Evan and her mom two days later, after supervising the movers’ packing up of our old house. We arrived to 0 deg. temperatures and 4” of snow!
Unfortunately, since I have been in Illinois, I have suffered some serious discomfort in my back and hips that I have attributed to me not being used to the cold; I simply ache like an old man… One day I couldn’t even get out of bed despite popping break thru pain pills like candy… A switch to Aleve, surprisingly enough, took away all the pain and I have not had to take any additional pain pills since. I am doing much better on the discomfort front.
I had also really held out strong hopes to get a break from chemo, but the doctors feel that the bone pain I have experienced here is symptomatic of the disease remaining active and that we need to hit it back again. There is no real choice but to suck it up, pull up the boot straps, and get moving.
So… I do start chemo therapy back up again today (Friday the 18th). I will be taking only one drug this time, a drug called Alimta. My understanding is that it is a well-tolerated therapy and I am hoping the side effects will be less than what I have experienced in the past. The “fun” part is that chemo hits different people different ways and even differently on different days, so I get the weekend to see how it goes. I march on…
Work is going well. There is a LOT to do to clean things up there, but that is exciting, getting to fix things. I just need to balance my effort there, especially how frequently I physically go to the office vs. work from home. I think I will burn out if I don’t.
Please pray for me that the chemo will go well and that I can be productive at work.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Scans are in….. Eric: 1 Cancer: 0 12/14/07
Scans are in….. Eric: 1 Cancer: 0
On Monday 12/10, I went in for the definitive PET Scan and CT scan of the entire body and the results came back VERY positive.
All of the tumors showed reductions in sizes from 30% to 80%, and there did not appear to be anything new. The Lung tumor showed a 60% reduction, Lymph nodes 80% reduction and the largest bone tumor showed a 50% reduction.
The bottom line is that there is no question we are beating this!
There still will be a need for more chemotherapy to try to finish the job and I will still need a lot of prayers for more healing and the challenges of having to deal with 4 to 6 months more chemo. So I am not out of the woods yet, but it looks like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
In fact today (Friday), I already started chemo back up again with a Carboplatin and Taxol party today. And I am scheduled again for 12/28. That will be the last chemo I do in Florida, under my current Oncology Team (we will greatly miss them, especially Dr. Lozada and Nurse Kathy). After that, I will be under the guidance of a new team of doctors in Chicago. More on that soon…
The week of 12/17 will be an especially busy and challenging one that we will need your prayers for strength, peace, and sanity. We fly to Chicago Monday afternoon. Tuesday morning is the closing on our new home. Tuesday afternoon we have pre-school interviews. Wednesday, Doctor appointments at the University of Chicago Cancer Center. Thursday, meeting at my new office all morning and into the early afternoon. We fly back Friday morning. I am exhausted just typing this…
And of course all of this is happening in the holiday seasons, which are hectic enough without all this other stuff.
So with that, Merry Christmas! I hope an pray you all have a safe and Merry Christmas and that you spend some time reflecting on the true reason of the season, the birth of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. We actually bake a cake, light candles, and sing happy birthday to Jesus! The girls get very excited for this!
Thanks so much for all of your prayers, cards, thoughts, phone calls, e-mails, visits, meals, and support over the last 6 months. I can tell you that I could not have made it without you all and feel confident that progress would not have been as substantial without your prayers and God’s healing touch. Many Stage 4 Lung Cancer patients don’t even get to see the backside of 6 months after their diagnosis, let alone get a chance to beat it. With your continued prayers I will do just that.
God Bless and Merry Christmas!
Eric
On Monday 12/10, I went in for the definitive PET Scan and CT scan of the entire body and the results came back VERY positive.
All of the tumors showed reductions in sizes from 30% to 80%, and there did not appear to be anything new. The Lung tumor showed a 60% reduction, Lymph nodes 80% reduction and the largest bone tumor showed a 50% reduction.
The bottom line is that there is no question we are beating this!
There still will be a need for more chemotherapy to try to finish the job and I will still need a lot of prayers for more healing and the challenges of having to deal with 4 to 6 months more chemo. So I am not out of the woods yet, but it looks like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
In fact today (Friday), I already started chemo back up again with a Carboplatin and Taxol party today. And I am scheduled again for 12/28. That will be the last chemo I do in Florida, under my current Oncology Team (we will greatly miss them, especially Dr. Lozada and Nurse Kathy). After that, I will be under the guidance of a new team of doctors in Chicago. More on that soon…
The week of 12/17 will be an especially busy and challenging one that we will need your prayers for strength, peace, and sanity. We fly to Chicago Monday afternoon. Tuesday morning is the closing on our new home. Tuesday afternoon we have pre-school interviews. Wednesday, Doctor appointments at the University of Chicago Cancer Center. Thursday, meeting at my new office all morning and into the early afternoon. We fly back Friday morning. I am exhausted just typing this…
And of course all of this is happening in the holiday seasons, which are hectic enough without all this other stuff.
So with that, Merry Christmas! I hope an pray you all have a safe and Merry Christmas and that you spend some time reflecting on the true reason of the season, the birth of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. We actually bake a cake, light candles, and sing happy birthday to Jesus! The girls get very excited for this!
Thanks so much for all of your prayers, cards, thoughts, phone calls, e-mails, visits, meals, and support over the last 6 months. I can tell you that I could not have made it without you all and feel confident that progress would not have been as substantial without your prayers and God’s healing touch. Many Stage 4 Lung Cancer patients don’t even get to see the backside of 6 months after their diagnosis, let alone get a chance to beat it. With your continued prayers I will do just that.
God Bless and Merry Christmas!
Eric
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