Chicago’s weather really sucks right now. I am serious. I must have forgotten how bleak winter can be. I hear a lot of locals state facts: “Don't worry, this is just the worst winter in 24 years.” Or tell me: “It’s never like this.” Etc… But none of that is helpful for me. I am really struggling with the temperatures here. And in addition to the snow bunglng up commmutes and the bitter cold, according to the paper this morning, we have had 11 minutes of sunshine prior to today. You read that right: 11 MINUTES... 660 Seconds... Enough of that. Chicago does have greaet springs and summers, so I am holding out for them (when the humidity starts to suck in So. Florida).
This new chemo, Alimta, I am taking also doesn’t allow for me to take Aleve, seemingly the only pain med that has worked for me previously, and over the last few weeks, I have just ached and ached here.
My doctors tell me to just ramp up the narcotic pain meds. This is something I really don’t want to do. I have a fear of becoming dependant on them, but the pain and discomfort are driving me towards this short-term solution.
As I have stated in the past, if it wasn't for the back pain, I could really be managing all of this pretty well, I think. Especially quality of life-wise.
I am going to start pushing my Doctor Team to get proactive in curing this pain (most likely through more radiation treatment). But, I really need to turn the corner on this pain, because it really has negatively affected my quality of life. It is SO hard to have a positive attitude when one feels this way day in and day out. I have faked it pretty good at work, but overall, I am not doing well here. I need your alls’ prayers for my back and hip pain relief. You can also pray for an early spring! Side note: I literally just finished watching “An Inconvenient Truth”, the Al Gore global warming film. Hard to take it seriously when the temperatures are supposed to hit 3 degrees today and a –30 degree wind chill tonight.
We have new contact information… Here’s our family info:
The Plummer’s
2340 River Hills Lane
Bolingbrook, IL 60490
Home Phone: (630) 312-8225
Home e-mail: amyplummer2340@comcast.net
Hard to believe we have been here one month already!!! We really love the house and encourage you all to visit at any time. You all have a place to stay in Chicago if you find yourself here. We have a LOT of spare room.
Final thoughts on where I am at…
I know that God has a plan; A perfect plan. I know that I fit in that plan; perfectly. I just don’t know how or why. Especially right now. In the past, some days it seemed or felt obvious how I was being used or where I fit in. But for weeks now I have not seen or felt where I fit in. This has had me in a valley for a long time now and I can admit that frustration with the pain here has contributed to me willfully “sitting down and pouting” in this valley’s floor.
I just really feel far from God lately, even though I know He is right next to me, holding me, carrying me, and crying with me. And typically, I am OK with gaps in the head to heart understanding. They typically don’t last long with me as I can almost always just push through with faith. I can usually motivate myself to get up and start walking in the valley. It is what we are called to do. It is what we are designed to do. Valley time is the only place we can glorify God with our actions, faith, and belief. We simply can’t glorify Him on the mountain top… Those times are gifts from Him where He raises us up to them. In the valley, choosing to have faith and to start walking is the only place where we can offer this acceptable gift to Him.
I convicted myself for feeling and acting so poorly a few days ago… And I have since gotten back into the Word, and started praying more, for strength of faith and peace. I hope that my recent, weak efforts in this area will be found pleasing to Him. It’s a start, but I still have a ways to go. At least I am off my butt and walking again…
Thanks for your continued prayers! I’ll push through this (especially with your all’s help). I am confident of that.
God bless you,
Eric
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Eric,
Not surprising to hear that the Chicago weather's getting you down! This is the time of year we all run to Florida to escape it!!
We're so proud of you for how positively you've approached this. I know from my experiences with two cancers how difficult it is to stay focused on the positive. I also know what a great difference the support of family and friends can make, and you have the greatest family around!!!
Although we're far away, John and Beth and Curt and I have talked about you and your family often, and we continue to lift you up in our prayers. Next Sunday, our church in Boomfield, CO will hold a special Lenten Healing service, and we'll definitley lift you up in that! Blessings
Judy and John
Post a Comment