Who ever is sitting on the couch when the ambulance comes gets a piece of candy

Personally, I thought I was being crafty when that particular phrase came out of my mouth. I was challenged with the task of packing the car and keeping the kids out of my hair. The ambulance hadn't come yet and my kids love candy. I'm not above bribery and it worked! Everyone else thinks it is the winning quote of the week.

The best thing about great friends is they allow you to laugh at your self. I can't remember the last time I laughed this much. It's one of the most cruel things about cancer, it does it's best to suck the joy right out of you. There's a line in a Indigo Girls song that goes, "If you don't laugh you'll cry your eyes out". I've tried to remember that but it helps to have friends to remind you!

I would be lying to you if I said I hadn't worried about this trip. Would Eric be able to make it to the beach, would he make it home, would he pass away before we even left? And yet here I am, three days from the end of our trip, watching Eric play guitar hero with his friends, complaining that we had to turn it off to play a stupid card game. How foolish God must think I am. He's always had a plan, and surely a part of that plan must have been to bring all these wonderful friends and family to the beach, marinating us in the love of some of our favorite people.

I can't help but think of Psalm 23.

"...You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

I pray you find as much comfort in the promises of the bible as I do. And in the midst of the storm, you might be blessed enough to honestly say, my cup overflows.

Amy

This is the bestest day EVER!

Well we arrived at Ocean Isle Beach yesterday with out a hitch. I must tell you truthfully, there is no explanation other than answered prayers. We have had such traveling mercies! I hired a non-emergency ambulance to move Eric from the house on Hobson Beach to Ocean Isle. Our first trip from the airport was fine except they sent two very nice ladies who were completely unable to help Eric up the stairs to the house (all the houses on the beach are on stilts). When I called to request another ride, I reminded them we needed a bit more help. Mark and James arrived at 10am and were entirely able. They were just the sweetest southern gentlemen. When they left, they promised to speak to the owner about allowing them to come over later in the week to take Eric down to the beach for us no charge. God has provided for us at every turn!

We are enjoying the daily additions to our house party. This week's attenders are all people we have known from Florida, our Florida family. By tomorrow there will be 12 adults and 13 kids. While we are out numbered, two are only babies so we should be OK!

As for the house, well there are 8 bedrooms and a swimming pool. What could be better? When we pulled up to the house, I opened the door and Chloe yelled, "There's a pool! This is the bestest day ever!!!"

I hope you feel the same about your day today!
Blessings to you all.
Amy

PS. Eric is doing well, just forgot to mention it.

The long goodbye

I went out today to pick up take out. It was my 3rd trip away from the house this whole week. I do more than that in one day at home. There just doesn't seem to be much outside of here that I need, other than chocolate! My trip today was in search of the "best shrimp burger ever" as a number of family will attest. I followed Scott, Amy and family off the island, they returned to Texas today. While I was driving it occurred to me that this would be the beginning of the long goodbye. Many of you have come to visit but I think in the back of my head, it hadn't really sunk in that Eric was saying goodbye to you for the last time. We've been so focused on getting here to the beach to spend time with family and dear friends, I never thought about what it would be like to say goodbye when the week was over. Eric's been feeling the same way. He made it out to the deck today to watch the kids play in the sand. I came up to check on him and he said,"It's sad knowing this is the last time I'll be here." Why are goodbyes so hard

We've been talking a lot about Eric's funeral these days. I haven't enjoyed much of the process but have cherished the time Eric and I have spent searching the bible for his favorite passages. This one we rediscovered yesterday. I pray it so for myself and for you as well.

...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11-13

God's peace and blessings to you all!
Amy

This is better than Disney World!

Eric and I finaly made it to the porch about 3pm this afternoon. Just seems like we've embraced the beach lifestyle and have been taking our time these last few days. The breeze was lovely and we watched the kids play in the surf with their uncle and grandpa. Chloe came up to the house with the biggest smile on her face.

I said, "Chloe, are you haveing fun?"
She replied, "YYYYES!!!"
I said, "Is it better than Disney World?"
She thought about it for just a second, then her smile got even bigger and she said with a whisper, "YES!"

Shhhhh, Don't let the secret out! Sleeping Beauty will be crushed.
Blessings to you all!
Amy

Who knew Mr. Magorium was so profound?

After you've been married for a while, you find your partner has their own set of strengths and weaknesses. If your'e lucky, you'll find your husband/wife's strengths compliment your weaknesses. The good news is you make a great team, shoring up each other as you go along. The longer you're married the more you find those areas of your spouses strengths are areas you've long since stopped trying to improve upon in your self. It's not something I'm proud of but sadly, it's true. Think of it, when was the last time you endeavored to mow the lawn in a diamond pattern or exchanged stain removal tips with a friend in an attempt to expand your skill set. The truth is we all bring expertise to the table and since there is precious little time, we rely on our partners to provide their expertise when needed.

The problem arises when your team loses a member. In the last year I've been expanding my repertoire to include taking the garbage out and killing bugs. I've learned to appreciate Eric more than before but even more importantly, I've reaffirmed what my mother always told me, "I come from a long line of strong women". The difficult part of this whole "growing" thing is stepping out of your comfort zone. Come on, one of the benefits of being married is letting your partner, who's good at "that" stuff (what ever it may be), do it for you! I guess God has other plans.

This afternoon I had another one of those "growing" opportunities. You see, I'm not a real lover of the ocean. Sure it's pretty to look at but I'm not wild about all the stuff swimming around my legs. And the salt, well do I need to say more? Eric has always been the one to play with the kids on the beach. My job was getting everything packed up and ready, his was humping it down to the beach and entertaining. Once we're there, I am fully willing to sit at the shores edge and read a book. Never once, did I say, "boy I sure wish I could be the one to take the kids out in the surf, chasing, jumping, and carrying." No, I was just content to sit and read, watching them play, complimenting myself on packing just what was needed and nothing more (my particular skill set).

This afternoon, I sat watching Chloe watching all the kids out in the surf with an adult. I'd like to say it was my mother's intuition but, I'm pretty sure a rock couldn't have missed the longing on her face. When I asked her if she wanted to go out, she said no but I knew better. Accepting the challenge, I chased her around the beach, picked her up kicking and screaming, screwed up my courage and headed out into the waves. Every 30 seconds she asked/begged, to return to the shore and after about 5 minutes I at least felt like she had enough of a taste to decide for herself if she truly liked it or not. At her next request, I acquiesced only to her her say, "well maybe one more wave". As soon as we returned to shore, Evan wanted a turn. As I made my way back to the waves I could hear Chloe say, "Grandpa, will you take me out to the ocean?" A mother always knows best.

I rented Mr. Magorium's magic emporium a few weeks ago. I'm always looking for movies for the kids to watch with Eric and I'm happy to say this was an unintended gold mine. I'd recommend it for all of you struggling with Eric's impending death. The story is about a magic toy store and it's owner Mr. Magorium. You see he's decided the day, tomorrow, has come for him to die and leave the store to his able assistant. The toy store, being magical and all, is not particularly pleased with Mr. Magorium's plan and protests in many ways. At one point, after closing time, Mr. Magorium has a heart to heart talk with the store. He scolds it for being so precocious and says something that has stuck with me ever since. He says, "We will face tomorrow, what ever it may bring, with bravery, determination and joy". I've tried to infuse that into our lives. I believe today, we were successful. The determination was mine, the bravery, Chloe's and the joy, well, that was shared by us all!

I don't have a picture for you from today, so I thought I'd share another special one from yesterday.

Have a blessed day!
Amy

It takes a village...

When we heard the news that the cancer had gone to Eric's bone marrow, we had a long discussion about weather or not we should go forward with our beach plans. No one ever said they could get us here, they only offered to help us try. Weighing the risks I asked Eric if the trip would be worth it if all he was able to do was sit on the porch and have a beer with his brother. It didn't take long for him to answer YES! It was in that moment I knew we were beach bound.

Today I have the great honor to report Eric not only had that beer with his brother but made it all the way down to the beach to put his feet in the sand. Can I get an AMEN!!!

For all of you who are panicking, take a big deep breath, there was no walking on the beach for Eric. Not only does it take a village to raise a child, it also takes one to bring Eric to the beach. Please take a moment to thank God for the Plummer Family Men. With out the help of Bob Plummer (dad), Scott Plummer (brother), Bruce Tucker (uncle), Chris Tucker (cousin), Jeff Tucker (cousin), Kenny Choat (uncle), Dan Bettner (cousin-in-law), and Ernest England (cousin-in-law) we would have not been successful. Watching these eight men carry Eric down a flight of stairs in his wheelchair, pushing/carrying him through the sand was a sight to behold and a lesson in love. You see, each one of them had come to me over the last few days to let me know no matter what it took, if Eric wanted to go down to the beach, they would get him there. Ernest even threatened to throw him over his shoulder and carry Eric down himself. I was sitting at the waters edge when they all started coming down the stairs. What a sweet sight it was.

Just thinking about all of us spread out in our beach chairs around Eric, beers in hand, watching the kids play in the sand brings tears to my eyes. It is a moment I will never forget.

I sign off now with the joy that only comes from a dream realized. My deepest gratitude goes to all of you and your role in this great adventure.
In His service,
Amy

AGGH! You sunk my battleship!!!

Yesterday was a long day of pain meds every 2 hours with a climax and 10:30pm with a call to the hospice nurse. Sam was wonderfully successful in bringing him from a 8 out of 10 pain level to a 2 so he could sleep comfortably. What a difference 12 hours can make. We've adjusted the medications and doses and now, the battleship bonanza has begun. As I write this, Bob has sunk three battleships and the Chloe/Eric team is knocking on the door of their third sinking! Update: Eric/Chloe won the game!!!

While yesterday was a day in bed for Eric, it was full of fun for the kids. Chloe, Evan and Amanda arrived about 2pm and headed out to the beach immediately. Playing in the surf and sand with cousins wore them out. There were many waves ridden and sand castles made. Lila even had a new dress made of sand for the beach at one time.

Eric's old boss, Jay Artzen, drove up from Atlanta to spend the day with us. What a blessing it is to visit with old friends. God and I have been having a number of conversations these days, but the one that keeps recycling is the question of how to fill the hole Eric's absence will create. As humans, we seek to fill those voids with anything we can find (I'm sure you can all relate). My big concern has been how to fill that space with good, useful and appropriate things, the sort of things that will feed and nurture the kids. As I sat and watched Jay and Evan play in the surf, being "surfer dudes", I finally heard His answer. There are many fine, upstanding, God loving men, who love Eric so very much. For many years I have teased Eric about his "boyfriends", now I'm asking you all for a huge favor. I will be counting on you to help me fill the void a father leaves behind. I know that is a huge responsibility and commitment but, I am confident you will hear God's calling an be obedient in your response. I've seen it already!

I am continually grateful for the awesome gift of seeing God's hand moving in the present time. Thank you all for your participation in this gift!
Blessings to you all!
Amy

When God said "it was good" he was looking at the beach!

Well we are here, at Holden Beach, North Carolina looking out our window at the surf tickling the shore. Our airplane trip was unbelievable. It truly was as if the clouds parted the whole way down to North Carolina, storms to our left, storms to our right but clear, unturbulent skies for us. I have some sense of what Moses must have felt when the Red Sea parted! When we were getting ready to land Brian our trusty pilot and Justin our able wing man, could barely believe the radar. It was as if the weather surrounding around the airport had been erased. There was rain to the left, rain up ahead, and rain to the right but clear skies right above. Even the plane landing right before us had visibility difficulties. But praise God, not us. What a privilege to see God's hand in real time!

We took an non-emergency ambulance to the rental home and when they got him up to the deck, he said, "Well this was all worth it". The view from our porch is breathtaking!

While the trip was uneventful, we are now, dealing with the after effects. Eric's spirits are still strong but we are struggling with controlling the pain. We are hopeful that in the next few days we will be able to master it.

Eric's brother and family arrived late last night after quite a travel fiasco. They arrived in Raleigh on time but had to sit on the plane for 2+ hours due to a lightening storm. Amy said she was grateful to take our portion of travel complications! I think that's brave of a woman with a 4yr and 10month old!

We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the kids and my parents. Their trip has been good. Evan called me from the road to tell me, "Mom, there are too many cars on the road and we can't go very fast". Chloe called to tell me, "We're staying in a skyscraper mom, there are 11 floors and the people look so small!" Amanda has been uncharacteristically quiet.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. Without many of you we would not be here!

God's Blessings to you all!
Love,
Amy

Made it to the Beach!

Amy and Eric made it to the beach today without any problems.  The flight down was smooth and they miraculously avoided multiple storms on the way.  The kids drove to North Carolina with Grandma and Grandpa Howard and are staying with uncle mike tonight.  Lot's of people in a little house!

The plan is to drive the kids to the beach tomorrow, Sunday morning, and drop them off with mom and dad.

Eric made the trip without complications and is currently resting after a long day.  Amy said she felt like someone was watching over them on the way down.  Hopefully they'll keep watching in the days and weeks to come.

They are currently without internet access, but Amy said she'll be looking for a place tomorrow where she can check mail and hopefully post an update.

-mike howard

North Carolina Here We COME!!!

This last week has been a flurry of activity. So many of you have come to visit us and sit with Eric. In times like these, when there are no words, we are so grateful that you have come to just sit, pray, and be. As I write this, there are a bunch of Eric's fraternity brothers, most of whom he hasn't seen in 15 years, bringing us lunch. We are so well loved!!!

The cancer has compromised Eric's bone marrow and the ability to make the quality and quantity of red blood cells his body needs. As your body recycles it's blood supply in about 30 days, we are grateful to hospice for allowing us to extend our good days to the beach. Wednesday morning Eric took the exciting ride down to a hospital in Chicago for a blood transfusion and a quick overnight stay. All went well, they gave him 3 pints of blood and we're hoping that will be enough to get him to the beach and back. We have talked extensively about the benefit an risks of transfusions and are expecting that to be his last.

Eric's parents left Thursday afternoon on their way down to North Carolina and the kids and my parents were off about 9am today. Eric and I will be flying, courtesy of a wonderful man named Brian, in a private plane tomorrow morning at 8am. When Eric first found out he was sick, his gut reaction was, "let's go to Ocean Isle Beach". It's the beach his family has been going to for the last 40 years. It holds a lot of memories and while traveling now is accompanied by many risks, some quite large, he wants to put his feet in the sand one last time before he dies. I think our lovely pilot said it best, "All the worries and concerns about these other things are in God’s hands and I’m confident he will provide for us. Let the angels carry us safely to our destination.".

We've had so many obstacles in our way to getting to the beach and yet God has provided for us at each step. From a plane to a hospice willing to work with us on blood transfusions to my parents offering to drive the kids the 16 hours to the beach, we haven't found one insurmountable yet. Please pray for strength for eric. We don't know how much strain travel will put on him. It is possible this may hasten the natural progression of this disease. We are praying for the miracle of strength so that we might enjoy one last family trip and return home for Eric to pass away in the peace and comfort of our home. Please as you feel the sun on your face these next two weeks, think of us and pray for strength, as you feel a warm breeze or hear the sound of water, say a prayer for Eric's safe return from the beach. We have asked for prayers from you all since the beginning of our journey but, this request alone is our most coveted.

We're bringing Eric's computer on the trip with us so look for more updates and pictures!

God blessings to you all!
Love,
Amy

Released to Hospice 6/9/08

Sorry for such a long lag between postings… I am not doing well and after this last bought in the hospital for pneumonia again, they have determined that the Tarceva chemo therapy is NOT working and that the cancer has spread to my bone marrow. They releaesd me to home hospice care. Very disappointing to say the least.

I need your prayers more than ever.

I have had some great visitors. On hearing the news Joe Mazza came right away, so did Mike Howard, Jim Slagle, Todd Schonherz, and my Brother Scott and his wife Amy.

My main goals right now are to still try to get to the beach at the end of this month.

Grace and peace to you all. I love you all very much,
Eric