Sometimes, I find God provides things to fill a need we didn't even know we had. I joined a bible study this spring in an attempt to try and meet some people from one of the churches we were visiting. At first I was a little disappointed to find there were not many women with small children like mine, then I found out only 2-3 of the group of 15 were actually members of the particular church. While this wonderful group of women was not at all what I thought it would be, they have filled a need in my life with amazing abundance. They've brought meals, watched my children, prayed, inspired, supported and all around loved me, a complete stranger. It has been an honor to be on the receiving side of such Christlike love. (Hi everyone!, I know you all read.)

We have been studying a book for the summer, "Praying the Names of God" by Ann Spangler. It's been a great comfort to me in these past few weeks. Our last chapter spoke of the name MELEK which means King. She discussed the following passage from Mathew the other day.

Jesus told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

"The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?'

"'An enemy did this,' he replied.

"The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'

""No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.'"
-Matthew 13:24-20

...though God could have instantly destroyed Satan and sinners (that's all of us), he decided to take the long way around, quelling the world's rebellion not by brute force but by the power of Divine love. That strategy requires restraint. It takes patience. It means justice in a final sense has to be delayed. It means evil is played out to the bitter end so that love can draw as many people as possible into the net of the kingdom. To say it another way, the weeds and the wheat are allowed to grow up together until the world's last day.
-page 214

I've been wondering how long we will be in limbo waiting for Eric to pass away. A few days ago we were in the beginning stages of death, now we are more in the middle stages. I've always prayed that he would be "good" for as long as possible and then it would go quickly. Lately, I've been torn between not wanting him to go but also, well, it's been a very long year. I was so struck by the sentence in italics, "played out to the bitter end so that love can draw as many people as possible into the net of the kingdom". It's like God was whispering into my ear, "patience dear Amy, I need a little more time. There are a few more who need to find their way into the net still".

A few months ago, I kept hearing the passage from Luke:

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Eric and I have always considered ourselves in the "entrusted with much" category. God has so blessed our lives with wonderful family and friends, security in finances and employment, a strong faith and divine wisdom. We have always felt God was watching our backs. If this "playing out to the bitter end" is our "much more" being asked, well then, patience will be our response.

Please continue to pray for our strength and patience. In addition, pray for those still finding their way into the "net of the kingdom". Eric and I were talking the other day about how we've had so many emails from people we know, and don't know, telling us how our journey has inspired their faiths. I told Eric I like to imagine him up in heaven, lining the streets of gold, watching someone else finish their race and Jesus leaning over to say, "cancer was worth him don't you think?".

Blessings,
Amy